Searching For Discomfort

“I just wanted to let you know I’ve been offered a new job. You have been absolutely wonderful and I’m very thankful for you and the company. Tuesday will be my last day…”

It wasn’t until about three months ago that a restlessness began to consume my thoughts. I was sitting at my desk, idling in the waste that is traffic and thinking this isn’t it. I had a moment of epiphany. I felt myself falling into a pattern, becoming comfortable with my life, and becoming complacent.

For a plump bank account, a sense of security, and something to do, I was losing my soul. I was terrified.

The mindset I set out with just a few weeks before was dwindling and life morphed into a chore. I no longer felt the compulsion to be challenged, to live in faith, and to grow as a person. I could envision myself climbing the staircase straight into regret as my vision for the future and for purpose began to blur and God took a backseat to my comfort.

And so for the sake of discomfort, for the ridiculous hope of growing, aspiring, learning, and striving, I decided I would make the move. And now, my whole world is about to change… for the better.

I set out this year with a list of goals I wanted to be intentional about achieving but if I’m really honest with you guys, I didn’t think it would happen, especially not this quick.

It’s always been my dream to live in New York, to be a part of the world’s pumping heart, to feel like a cog in the ecosystem of life. I would imagine walking down the streets littered with coffee shops and boutique stores, every step injected with the fervor of generations, the grind of ambition, and the awe of accomplishment. I would feel the rumble of the subway beneath my feet, take notice of the nations in the faces that pass me by, and breathe the spirit of resilience.

This is the picture I’ve harbored for the past 22 years, and now it’ll become my reality. I don’t know if it will live up to my expectations or if I’ll be able to tame the beast that is the city. Even now, my heart beats with excitement and apprehension as I look towards an unknown world. It will be the first time home is unfamiliar.

And yet, every cell in my being is shaking with excitement at the prospect of coming alive. I get to be in proximity with faces and minds that embody the entire world. I get to be in the front lines of the greatest hustle.

But above all, the craziest and most exhilarating aspect of moving is knowing that my only weapon against uncertainty is trust. Culture and working has sucked the faith out of me, but I’m going to regain it. Greed and comfort has diluted my trust, even making it obsolete, but I will reclaim it.

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