Letter 13 | Show Me Your Eyes

How could there be malice in my gaze? What would warrant any accusation in my fixation?

Can you blame me for latching onto your eyes? The eyes I have dreamed of beholding, the eyes that have been burned into my soul, eyes that have taunted me with every night’s sleep.  
It’s as though I’ve known them from the beginning, eyes no different than mine. Each ray of light bounces off the lens of your compassion, creating a rainbow of emotions, ebbing and flowing with the overflow of your heart.

Do you feel the intensity of my stare? Do you feel the embrace of my heart  wrapping around you, gleaning life and energy from your touch?

Please don’t tell me to look away.

You must realize it is the only reprieve I have from the assault of my buoying emotions. It’s a compromise I made with every cell in my being that condemns me for waiting, that ferociously urges me to know you. 

How can I refrain from looking into your eyes, eyes that contain the essence of love, eyes that accept my most intimate thoughts. They shatter the fortress of my pride, they bring salvation to the hopes and dreams trapped in the siege of my disbelief. They have made me tender and weak, a child before his mother. Will you deny my selfish plea, to be vulnerable, to be happy, and to be felt?

You’ve stripped me of every garment, understood every memory, and mended every wound, and I stand before you flawed but unashamed. Never did I know the joy of being at the feet of mercy, to be exposed and loved. Your eyes are a like a blanket in the winter of solitude. I am no longer cold.

And yet you misinterpret the motivation of my gaze. I see your pupils flashing right and left, as if they are trying to escape the realm of your eyes. Have you banished me from your vision, have you escaped the warmth of my wounded eyes? 

Is it your past that’s beginning to rally doubt and mistrust? The anguish of betrayal and the sorrow of hurt rising in you, isn’t it? Is that why your eyes avoid my entreaty?

Believe me when I say it is the beauty of your spirit that shines through your eyes that have affixed my longing stare. Believe me when I say I only see you as the woman you are now.

There is no defense I have to make on your behalf before my conscience, I am too much immersed in the divinity and loyalty of those pools of generosity. If only I could dwell in them, I would surrender it all to never leave your sight.

I see every flicker of hope and every twitch of doubt. I am not an observer of your struggle but an accomplice to your journey, a watchman of your integrity. I will pour fire on your passions and eliminate your conspirers. My only request is this. Hold my gaze with yours.  

Where intellect and language cannot reach, but my eyes will answer in silent response, “I love you.”

Yours Truly,